MAN Quiz Week 6

Here are the results from the Man Quiz. These were calculated by Nicky (@DarlingNicky999) Enjoy!



Question #1
Would you rather have a woman "who brings home the bacon" OR who will fry it up in the pan?

Answer:
59% of you chose a bacon makin' woman
35% of you want a bacon-fryin' woman
6 % of you are damn greedy and want both.

Honourable Mention:
"We don't eat pork". Ah Boy! *blank stare* NEXT!

My Take:
I will gladly "make the bacon" and "fry the bacon". But if you want me to share, make sure you wash the damn fry-pan!!!!!





Question #2
Have you ever received um.......a visit downtown by a girl with a tongue ring? Verdict.....good, bad, indifferent?

Answer:
67% of you said you'd had the tongue ring visit
33% of you are tongue ring virgins.

Of those that had experienced it
40% said it was good/great
60% were completely indifferent. (No one said it bad)

Honorable Mention:
"If she cant suck dick, she cant suck dick! A damn tongue ring doesn't help shit!!"

My take:
If I were a dude, I'd want a metal stud on my dick about as much as I want a knitting needle up my coochie. NEXXT!!!!


Question #3
Would you "wife" a girl that slept with you on a first date?

Answer:
64% said you WOULD wife someone who gave it up on the first night
36% of you said HELL NO!!!!!


Dis-Honorable Mention:
"If she has money so I can divorce her later."


My take:
Um.....she didn't give it up to herself, so you are just as guilty. Maybe she doesn't wanna "husband" your ass, u fast bastard!


Question #4
Which profession is most acceptable for you in a woman (if forced to choose): a stripper, a circus clown or a maid?


Answer:
19% said stripper (eeewww)
25% said circus clown (Homee don't play that!)
56% of you said MAID.


Honorable Mentions:
"A stripper because stupid males pay y'all bills"
"a stripper, cuz i was thinkin 'bout strippin myself."


My take:
MAID, then STRIPPER in that order. Damn right she should get paid to do the things you expect her to for yo ass for free.



Question #5
How much does your woman's vaginal elasticity affect you? (A lot or a little)


Answer:
56% said it mattered a LOT.
44% said it only mattered a little.


Honorable Mentions:
"If I can't feel u, I might as well beat it myself! Ur still good 4 lickin though!"
"My dick is pretty big so a pussy is a pussy as long as its not loose like lips that sank ships."


My take:
I'm not waitin' on you to critique my elasticity. I do that myself. I wanna feel you too nucca. I do my Kegals!


Question #6
If your girlfriend refused to have sex with you until marriage, would you wait?


Answer:
53% of you said YES you would wait (liars)
35% of you said NO, not waiting.
12% of you said it depended on the girl.


Honorable Mention:
"If I wait 10 years and find out there's no elasticity......."<--------Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad!


Dis-Honorable Mention:
"yeah i'll wait... but i'll still do her friends."<-------What are you? Five? (get of my quiz, idiaaaaat!!!!!)


My take:
I'm a straight-up business woman. There is NO way I wouldn't confirm my return on investment. I prefer "MUTUAL funds".


Question #7
Do you discriminate against a girl's weight? Could a big girl get YOUR love?


Answer:
71% said ABSOLUTELY big girls get ur love
29% of you (shallow SOB's) said NOPE.


Honorable Mention:
"if she pretty, & if I'm feelin her, she cud prolly even be obese." "I'm a big nigga, that wud be 2pigs in a blanket"

My take:
If small d*cked men expect love.....then big sisters should expect it too! (You can't help, what you can't help!)


Question #8
Choose your fantasy: MILE HIGH Club or an installment of the TROIS movies (read as: threesome).


Answer:
25% of you said Mile High Club
75% of y'all nasty, cheatin' wanna be eatin' a next pu$$y fcukers said THREESOME! (lol)


Honourable Mention:
"Of those choses I would go with the threesome. I am too big to be trying shit on a plane."


Dis-Honorable Mention:
"milf 4 life... Owwwwwww". <----WTF does that have to do with this question? Go back to ur corner, and sip on ur 40!

My take:
Um...I have 2 kids. Which means I have had 3somes every night for 18 months. Me, you, and fetus. Mile High? Can I use Air Miles?

LADIES QUIZ results Week 6

Here are the results from Last Week's Woman Quiz. These were calculated by myself (@DarlingNicky999) Enjoy!


Question #1:
One of ur girlfriends is dating ur male relative (cuz / brother) & u find out HE's cheating on her - would u snitch 2 the friend?
 
Answer:
52% said you would absolutely snitch, 24% said NO way not sniching, and 24% said you drop mad hints (but not come right out w/it).
 
Honourable Mentions:
"I'm not telling. Bros before hoes... "
 
Honorable Mention:
"I am an only child, so if I had to choose I would def tell on 'em #1 HAHA " ----->u were the tattletail in school huh
 
My Take:
If you know me, I tolerate almost ALL sins except LYING. So, u get NO special privileges just because we share a little DNA.
 
 
 
Question #2
If ur goin' thru a dry patch that ur toy can't satisfy, do u call an ex, sleep w/a random, f*ck a friend, or stick to ur toy?
 
Answer:
43% said call an ex (uh, triflin'), 24% said fcuk a friend (uh desperate), and 33% said stick with your toy (uh diesase-free!).
 
Honorable Mention:
"Every smart girl has a friend with benefits. Toys don't make good kissers".


My Take:
Honestly, if your dry spell is THAT bad.....you don't need any of the above. A dude could sneeze on you, you're bustin' a nut




Question #3:
Are you attracted to a guy with a lot of tattoos?


Answer:
86% of you said Yes to Tatts!!!! 14% of you said NO WAY to tatts



Honorable Mention:
"Special attention to men with tatts on their necks....damn I almost bust thinkin' about it!!"

My Take:
I like tatts (have them myself). But I also have boobs, and wouldn't want any on my man. Point is: It's not a deal breaker 4 me.


Question #4:
Your man can't hold an erection, but he can nyam kitty like a tiger! Do you stay with him?

Answer:
35% of U said YES, U'd stay (ur either crazy or lying b/c ur erectally challenged man is on Twitter). 65% of U said HELL NO.


Honorable Mention:
"gettin face is nice, but i need a dagga @ the end..."

Hon. Mention:
"havin my kitty licked is not really my thing we wld have 2...."----->;I stopped reading after she said it wasn't her thing.smh

My take:
No dick, is like eating at your fave restaurant, and only being offered the appetizer. I WANT THE DYAM STEAK!!!!!!!


Question #5:
What is YOUR honest opinion about guys in sandals?

Answer:
58% of you like or even love the sandal look. 11% of you can't stand it. 26% said it has to suit the situation (beach, vacation)

Honorable Mention:
"I like sandals on a guy especially when his feet doesn't look like mash up crackers! "

Honorable Mention:
"Flip-flops r FINE if he's wearing sexy capris & its his style in the first place".--->Did she just say capris r sexy?

My Take:
How can I say this? The ONLY place I want to see crust is on a piece of bread. Period.


Question #6:
 Who would be your girl-crush? Amber Rose, Megan Fox or Beyonce?

Answer:
37% said Amber Rose. 29% said Megan Fox. 29% said Beyonce.

Honorable Mention:
"None of the above". ---------->bwahahahaha

My Take:
If my crush on Angelina was a number 2 pencil, then my crush on Megan Fox is a big fat thick permanent magic marker!!!!

Question#7:
Do you discriminate against weight? Could a heavy dude win your heart?

Answer:
62% of said you could and would love a HEAVY dude. 38% of you said NO can do

Honorable Mention:
"i'm a big girl so i only do skinny guys ". "he MUST have a belly...i discriminate against the skinny ones ".


Honourable Mention:
"im a proud chubby chaser ". -------> If he's really chubby, won't take but a minute to catch him

My take:
Everybody needs love. Heavy dudes just need a little more. (lol).


Question #8:
Have you experienced the dreaded but hilarious pu$$y fart during or after s-e-x?

Answer:
93% of you said "*giggle* YES". 7% of you said NO (as your nose grew).

Honorable Mention:
"if this result is not 99.9% yes. U lying or not gettin' it right. "----->CO-SIGNED!!!!

Honorable Mention:
 "It's when you really fart and try to pass it off as a pussy fart but the smell gives it away! LOL"

My Take:
A pu$$y fart means your pu$$y's tight. *round of applause* for all my tight-pu$$ied Twitterers. We rule the world!!!!!!!!!

One kid.....Two parents.....Three Perceptions.

"Just because you my Baby Daddy doesn't mean you own me"

OK, so we had a child together and things didn't work out, and now I want to move on with my life.  We've agreed that for the benefit of the child, we will communicate in a civil manner with one another.  Because I'm the type of woman I am (remember, you were in love with me and I am the same girl that you once adored), I do not want to mess with the courts so I will trust you on your word that when you say your going to take our son Friday nights and all day Sunday, that you bloody well mean it!  Your stuff has been out of "our" (read as: MY condo, I bought it, the deed had my name on it.....your ass was just welcome to be here because I didn't want to have to drive out in  the cold for a piece of ass!)  for almost a year, so you have been free to do as you wish personally, as I have been and have fully exercised that right to the max. 
Where you start to piss me the fcuk off, is when I decide I actually want to use my free Friday nights (and/or Sundays) to start to have a personal life again, and yo ass want to instigate some bullsh*t.  Talk'bout, "I can't take him this wknd, I have a cold."  To rahtid.....So what nucca do you think I do with our son when I get sick?  "Sorry son, you're on your own, Mommy has the sniffles."  Cock-a-fart! 


And don't get me started on the topic of money.  So, as a favour to you, I did not go through the courts to have some judge tell us that you have to financially support your own seed.  Duh!! That's a given. So, same way how you contributed when you lived yo ass at MY condo...you should damn well know that you need to contribute when I kicked yo cheatin' ass out the house.  You think pickney just raise up themselves?  Daycare costs money, diapers cost money, food costs money, the fly gear you want the child to wear because "no child of yours is gonna be dressed in Wal-Mart" costs money!  The transportation to the daycare costs money.  The long distance bill to have YOUR son call YOUR mother every Saturday so he can goo and ga to her, costs money.  So, when you decide to spite me because I went on a date last Friday, and you don't send the money we agreed on.......Best be sure then......I won't be so reluctant to rely on the courts to tell yuh rass what to do.


Bottom line:  You don't own me, so do not try to control me after the relationship is done.  Take care of your son, respect me, set and example and all will be good in the world!





"You might be my Baby Mama (or not?), but B*tch DON'T PLAY WIT ME!"

First of all, let's be clear.  You still want me.  Why else would you play di ass and tell me I MUST come to your place to pick up my son, when you damn well pass my mother's house on your way home from the daycare EVERY DAY!  And please don't preach to me about how you are sooo over me, when I saw you pull a drive-by past my work 3 out of the last 4 weeks.  And you right, I DID love yo ass, when you gave me that good pu$$y on our first date and cooked for me the next morning.  I thought I'd met an angel.  Turned out, you were just the devil in disguise.  I was born in Jamaica, yuh think we had all Sean John, Mark Ecko and Rockawear gear as a child? Nah sah, we had hand-me-downs, and a few hand-me-ups.  So while I think it's cute that you try to keep up with your friend's kids dem and how they dress, I just want my child to be clothed and healthy.  And as far as me not wanting to take our son when I am sick, I'm just looking out for YOU, because if he catches my cold, it is YOU that will miss time from work to take care of him.  So really, I'm doing it out of concern for YOU. 


And b*tch, I dont mind giving you money to take care of our seed, BUT don't take it and put rims on your car.  Do NOT let me see you giving $10 tips at the nail salon.  How come when we was together, you shopped at H&M, and now my sister done said you shop at Zara's and BCBG all the time?  You think I'm stupid?  I want us to move on with our lives to, but YES I'm going too screen what next man you bring into my son's life!!!  Afterall, I was a weed-smoking unemployed, dream chasing nigga when we met.  And you still gave me the nookie. 


Bottom line: You are a lucky b*tch that I even claim this child!




"I didn't ask to be here."

My parents are fcucked.  They spend more time arguing about their defunked and dysfunctional relationship than they do playing with me.  I'm beginning to think Dora is my mother, and Backyardigans are my older siblings.  I don't mind the noise, what happened to all that bangin's hip-hop and gully creepin' dancehall y'all listened to when I first came home from the hospital.  Don't think I don't remember being drowned in breast milk, so you two could rush me back to sleep and get your groove on.  Cha. 


I don't care if you are together or not, can I just have my damn TONKA truck and some food to eat when I'm hungry.  I don't ask for much.  Oh great......now they're fcuking kissing again.  Make up your minds ppl!!!!  And for God Sake, turn my high chair around so I don't have to witness this debauchery.


Bottom line: Children learn what they live.

When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be a Wife.

Why is it so? (or at least it may seem)
That every little girl has the same exact dream
To be swept off her feet by the man of all men
Everyday she ponders on who, how and when

Love sure is not, for the weak in the knees
It's more complicated than the birds and the bees
It pulls on your heart, it messes your mind
But once we all have it, we surely don't mind

From time we are young, we know what we want
And once we hit high school, so starts the hunt
To complete the life we dreamed all our lives
Our ultimate goal is to turn into wives

Some of the ladies may say this ain't true
But that's just because, someone has hurt you
And stifled your journey, so you became scared
Each and every time someone said that they cared

You know deep inside (deep, deep down inside)
That you'd give up freedom to be someone's bride
And that is OK, I felt the same way
And I'd gladly pick love over lust any day

It's never too late to open your heart
You cannot rush love to get to the good part
I truly believe there's someone for all
But damn, you think he could make a housecall!!!



Written by Nicky Phillips (aka Darling Nicky)

Here are the results from Last Week's Woman Quiz. These were calculated by myself (@DarlingNicky999) Enjoy!




Question #1
Would you remain in a bad relationship if you knew you couldn't survive (live) on your own?


Answer:
92% of you would NOT stay in the bad relationship
8% of you would.


Honorable Mention:
75% of you that answered NOT stay said, "I can do bad all by myself!" Too much Tyler Perry for y'all, sheesh!

My take:
Depends on "what's" bad in the relationship. If the s-e-x is bad, I'm going to go live in a cardboard box thanks.

Question #2

How much does a man's sexual history affect you? A LOT or a little (choose one).


Answer:
45% of you said it matters A LOT.
55% of you said it matters a little.


My take:
Um...would you hire someone with no experience to be the CEO of your company. OK then, me either. (matters a lot that he HAS exp)



Question #3
Would you pass up on love or the man of your dreams if it distracted you from your career/job?


Answer:
66% of you chose LOVE.
34% of you chose CAREER.


Honorable Mention:
"i believe in love. it doesn't pay the rent, but it changes the bed pan...and a great career won't."


My take:
Let's just say here, that if you know me, you know what I would choose.

Question #4

Do you believe in 2nd chances. Can old relationships be mended, or once an EX, always an EX?


Answer:
55% of you said YES.
45% of you said NO.
5% of you said it depends on the reason of the original break-up.


Honorable Mention:
"All my exes are idiots anyways, why not just find a new jerk?" Bwahahahahahaha


My take:
Sometimes the right people meet each other at the wrong time. YES I believe in 2nd chances, & everything tastes better the next day!

Question #5

Do you date outside your ethnicity/culture?


Answer:
83% said YES.
7% said NO.
10% of you said you haven't yet, but would.


Honorable Mention:
"I haven't but am open to it...well that's more on the female-liking side of me." Interracial bi-curiousness??!!
"To be honest, I have never dated "inside" my ethnicity."


DIS-hononorable Mention:
"Black women might hate me for this but this 'white' woman don't date anything BUT black."


My Take:
If you date me, you are dating 4 nationalities, how could I then turn around and discriminate. I wouldn't know where to start, LOL


Question #6
When you "arrive" before your partner, do you still ensure he's taken care of, or is he on his own? (21 and older pls)


Answer:
94% of you said you are TAKING CARE of your man.
6% of you said he's on his own. (You are some selfish bitches).


Dis-Honorable Mention:
"**Hon.Mention If I don't arrive before the actual intercourse begins, I usually arrive upon entry." (WTF???)

My take:
If I'm gonna ask you to take out the trash, and kill spiders, then you can rest assured I'm not leaving you hangin'!

Question #7
Do you like/enjoy dirty talk in the bedroom or otherwise?


Answer:
85% said HELL YEAH!
5% of you said NO, I'm a prude.
10% of you said a lil' only in the bedroom.


Honorable Mention:
"Yes, very much so I do." OK, Betty Crocker, can't wait to hear what that sounds like!

My take:
Do I really need to answer this. That's a little like stating the obvious.

Question #8

Ever called out another man's name? Be honest!!


Answer:
96% of you said NO, never happened.
4% of you said Whoopsie, my badd! Lmao!


Honorable Mention:
"Sadly yes. And even more sadly? He didn't notice!" You were handling business too good Girl! That's why.
"i try not 2 fuck whole b-ball teams in da same wknd. So, i can usually keep my lovers straight! Ur a sket, sket, sket..



My take:
My mom taught me it's not nice to call people names. So, problem solved.