Proceed With Caution

“Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell

"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory." ~ George S. Patton

"Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors" ~ Proverb

They always say that the only two things that are certain in life are: death and taxes.  It's so true.  No matter how much you map out your life, make all the right choices (so you think), and follow the straightest, narrowest path possible, you really can never be fully prepared for the curve balls that life throws at you.  I bet when you were growing up, you may have known from an early age what you wanted to be when you grew up.  Teacher, Lawyer, Doctor, Fireman (Fireman?  Really Nicky, do you know anyone that actually said out loud "Hey, I wanna thrust myself in harm's way 3 days a week and risk severe injury because that's how I want to put food on the table?"), well you know what I mean.  If you had it good, you had supportive parents that put you through school specializing in the field of your choosing, and even if you had to take out a student loan to pay for college or university, you did what you had to because after all, you have a plan!  Everything is going according to plan until.......

BAM!

Something (or someone) pulls the rug from underneath you, and suddenly your plan goes tail-spinning.  For instance, unless you truly are the Queen of Hoodrats, as a woman, you don't deliberately set out to get pregnant at 16 and sabotage your chances of executing your life plan complete with PhD and 6,000 sq.ft home.  Men don't say, "When I grow up I'm going to fall in love with the most gold-digging heaux I can find so when I realize that having a Size 6 waist and Double D's aren't the only prerequisites for a life partner, she can rake me over the coals and leave me penniless."  Sh*t happens that we are never prepared for, and it presents challenges in our lives that we either have to face and overcome to get back on plan, OR we have to create a totally new plan.

For argument's sake, and the fact that the name of this blog is "Darling Nicky's World", I'll use myself as an example.  I was an only child (my half-brother and half-sister were raised by their mother in Brooklyn), and with two working parents I enjoyed all the privileges of upper-middle class life.  I grew up in the suburbs, never lived in an apartment building, had a live-in housekeeper so I have to admit that my chore list was considerably shorter than many of yours.  I was an Honour Roll student, and many Toronto notables/celebs that knew me growing up can vouch for that.  I was well on my way to becoming anything I wanted to be when I grew up (at the time, I was interested in Genetics and Medical Science) and then BAM! my life's course changer entered the scene.

I got pregnant at 18 (you can only imagine how well that went over considering the high expectations that were placed on me from the ripe age of 3......that would be 3 days old, NOT years).  Eeeeerrrkkkkksss!

Talk about slamming down my life brakes.  Even with a supportive mother, my life plan fell so far off my radar and I entered the unfamiliar territory known as "adulthood".   I was on my own, with my son, and all that so-called "privilege" I had known my entire childhood was gone.  And ever since then, I have towed the line of survival and success ever since.

I made good on my life.  I still had the same work ethic, drive and intelligence that I'd always had, and I abandoned my medical career aspirations when I walked away from the Registered Nursing program I'd  completed 3 years of in favour of a career in Business and Management.   And I never looked back.  And I enjoyed a long and wonderful career with a company that has by and large shaped my skill set to this day.  It wasn't the plan I started off with, but it was one of the best examples of "overcoming challenges" I'd ever experienced.  I was right there with all the so-called "others" who had not veered away from their childhood dreams.  I even went on to have another child, and eventually get married.  Then....

BAM!

Life changed again.  I went through a divorce and relocation that changed my life forever.  I left the company I had worked at for so long, and overnight (or so I felt) I was starting at Ground Zero again.  Feeling defeated, whatever revised plan I had for myself had to be revised again.  So, I decided to take insight from the old adage, "Once bitten shame on you, twice bitten shame on me, third time it's a habit".  Once I pulled  myself together from the anxiety of all that sudden life upset, I decided that I was going to do what I had never done before.  I decided that rather than focusing on a plan, I would focus on LIVING.  That by doing what I love, surrounding myself only with people that I love, having faith in myself, that it didn't really matter if I had an iron clad plan or not.  That if I took care of taking care of myself, the Universe would take care of me.

Someone very instrumental to my emotional healing once told me, "The only way to the other side of the bullsh*t in your life, is to walk through it".  And they were right, and I've been teaching it to others ever since.

Final Thoughts:

No one said that life was going to be easy or predictable.  What do you think those yellow signs are for?  Proceed with caution.